Friday, August 31, 2012

He lit his pipe after cleaning up the place. The job was immaculate and the least he could do was afford himself this small luxury.

This was the longest job he had undertaken. He wasnt used to working for six straight days but jobs were hard to find these days so when this came up he took it up without any complaints. Now that this was done he could take a day off and spend some quality time with his children.

He had one kid from his first wife and his second one had come with a kid from her previous marriage. Managing kids was never easy but these two were particularly lively, there never was a dull moment when they were around. 

As his wife had to go attend some urgent errands and daycare was closed, he had brought them over to work today. It was against the rules but he just had no other option.

As the day was coming to a close, it was time to find his kids and head back home.

"Hey Adam, Hey Eve.. Time to go!! I better not find you near the apple tree again or I'm grounding you two and taking that snake back to the petting zoo."

And that is how life on Earth came into being.


Thursday, May 26, 2011

"Honey I'm home"

Chi had come back home after a 6 month long hiatus. He had bagged a lucrative consulting gig on an oil rig off the coast of Nigeria which had kept him cut-off from the rest of the world. To top it off he couldn't even call back home due to company regulations.
Although Frieda was used to seeing him disappear for extended periods, this was the first time he had been out for 6 months. No matter, Chi reasoned. The assignment was a huge success and he could afford to spend a couple of months at home. A lot needed to be done, right from fixing the perpetually jammed bathroom door to getting a new dishwasher. The recession had extracted a huge toll on Chi's family and this assignment was the break he so desperately needed.

Ironically, he had almost missed the flight the day he left for Nigeria. He had overslept and had to rush out while Frieda was still in the shower, something Frieda was sure to harangue him with. Women have an extraordinary memory when it comes to such stuff.

He could hear the shower running and sneaked up to the bedroom to give his wife a surprise.

The room was damp and there was fungus growing on the hardwood floor. Everything else was just the way it was when he left.

She never made it out of the bathroom. The door chose an inopportune time to misbehave.


Wednesday, January 05, 2011

The light flickered.. then died.

Chi was going to be back any minute now. She had to do something.. and fast.

Chi never left her alone for long enough. It was fortuitous that he had run out of nails today and the nearest shop was 30 minutes away.

She had planned it meticulously.

A knife was hidden under the table, just within easy reach. A lighter in her pocket.. just in case.

The dark provided adequate cover. Powercuts were common so Chi wouldnt suspect anything till it was too late.

As if on cue, a car rolled into the driveway. It was time...

At 21:37, on the night of January 5th, Chi entered the room.

"Happy Birthday!", they all screamed in unison.


Sunday, August 08, 2010

The Great Caste War

Most historians agree that the seeds of the great caste war were sown in 2010 when the government agreed to capture caste data in the ongoing census.

The results paint a startling picture. 70% of India's population is a scheduled caste/tribe or a backward caste.

The 2014 elections lead to a hung parliament. A lackluster economy and a bad monsoon do the incumbent government in. A coalition of smaller parties led by the Left musters the required majority and a new government is sworn in.

Manihar Yadav, the Home Minister declares that the government has raised the reservation cap to 70% to "ensure equality". Students protests erupt all over India but the government refuses to relent.

The Gorits, a prominent caste in MP block all roads and disrupt railway services in an effort to gain SC status. After a set of lengthy negotiations, the government agrees grant Gorits Special SC status and raises the reservation cap to 72%.

Encouraged by the success of the Gortis, dozens of other groups engage in similar tactics to have quotas allocated to them. By the end of the year, the reservation cap has gone up to 80%.

Anirodh Pandey's party wins the assembly elections in Delhi riding on a wave of popularity generated by promises to win concessions for upper castes. He soon begins agitating for special institutions built only for upper castes, also announces his candidature for the upcoming general elections.

With an eye on the looming elections, the government announces that quotas will now be implemented in private enterprises as well. The industry, already battered by a recession, howls in protest.

Jan, 2018
The government starts printing caste on all documents.

March 2018
A dalit woman is killed in Bandra, Mumbai. The city is engulfed in flames as rioting brakes out. Many accuse the government of deliberately allowing rioters to loot upper caste neighborhoods.

Riots spread to other parts of the country. Caste based mobs pillage the countryside, many castes raise their own private armies to protect interests.

May 2018
The great caste war begins.


Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Chi had waited for this day for twenty years.

The train grinded to a halt in Lucknow. "Just three hours late, not bad at all" thought Chi.

The city held memories for him.. bad memories. It was time to finally lay them to rest.

Born and brought up in a small village just outside Orai, he moved to Lucknow with his parents thirty years ago to pursue the Indian dream- Survive, Survive, Survive.

The local boys never accepted him. Wherever he went, he was greeted with jeers and brickbats.
"Your family is from a lower caste, you are destined to be a jamaadaar".

It was time to show those boys how wrong they were. It cost him twenty years of hard work and toil but it was worth it. The jamaadaar was now a king.

He finally reached his old neighbourhood..

No one remembered him, no one cared.


Sunday, February 28, 2010

Jack saw Jill at a bar, it was love at first sight.

A couple of Jagermeisters later, he finally summoned up the courage to talk to her. She was smart, funny and the only person he had ever met who was also interested in Czech post-modernist art.

They decided to go this lovely place on top of Raising Hill to get a drink.

They were drunk.. it was a blind turn. The truck hit them on the side, sending their car careening off the cliff.

Jack broke 27 bones in his body, doctors refuse to comment on Jill's condition.

And those insensitive ba*tards turned it into a nursery rhyme!


Sunday, February 07, 2010

Chi loved his white wall.

The purest form of love is that with an inanimate object. Doomed from the start and unmoving till the end, it requires extraordinary persistence.

In an effort to please his wall he showered it with embellishments. Expensive paintings, exotic wall fittings and the best paint money could buy. After all, the wall's happiness was worth more to Chi than all the money in the world.

Chi soon learnt that buying inanimate objects as gifts for another inanimate object wasn't going to work. Optimistic as ever, he switched to lavishing praise and lots of attention his white wall.

On the second day of a very wet August, Chi woke up to find that his wall had turned black. Chi's love had turned its back on him.

Chi wandered the earth for years.. lost and aimless. Just when it seemed that all hope was lost and Chi was doomed to a life alone he met the table, in his eyes the most beautiful table in the world. Sparks flew and Chi's heart felt the stirrings of love.

Stranger things have happened.